Why We Serve Siblings

Chronic illness affects all family members. At Icing Smiles, we recognize the Super Siblings whose lives are changed by a brother or sister’s critical illness.

Children with chronic medical conditions endure a lot, but they’re not the only ones. Life changes for the entire family. That’s why Icing Smiles offers cakes for siblings, too.

How Siblings Might Feel

Living with a sibling with a critical illness is not easy. Parents have to pay extra attention to a child with a chronic illness, and it’s common for their brothers and sisters to feel neglected, ignored, or defined by their sibling’s needs. Not only might the healthy sibling feel jealous, angry, and sad — but they also often feel guilty about feeling this way. 

One mom told us about the sacrifices her daughter makes so that her brother can survive: “Emma is the sibling of a child with a chronic medical condition. It’s hard on the siblings who are navigating their own way through life alongside a brother or sister who is different and who needs support. I’m certain that being the sibling to a child with different needs is a struggle. I know you have those moments where your heart stings with jealousy, where you’re worried sick over your sibling. I know you have those moments when you get mad because you can’t go to all the birthday parties or events you want to because it’s flu season and it’s just too risky.”

This complex interplay of experiences is known as the well-sibling syndrome. Studies show children with siblings who have chronic physical disabilities, for example, avoid talking about it with both their parents and siblings. Well siblings tend to keep their own problems to themselves in an attempt to avoid stressing their parents. Well siblings also report feeling a need to make others in the family happy, feeling ignored because their sibling requires more attention from their parents, and feeling resentment toward both their parents and sibling.

Studies also show that healthy siblings’ involvement in care for their ill sibling is positive and leads to a feeling of involvement and empowerment. They develop greater maturity, increased empathy and patience, and higher tolerance of diversity than their peers. 

Take Super Sibling Caroline. Caroline is only two years older than her brother, but she looks out for him and has learned what food requires his pills and how to advocate for him through anxious episodes at school. She is his biggest cheerleader at all fundraising events!

How Icing Smiles Cares for Siblings

At Icing Smiles, we understand the stresses of having a sibling with a chronic health problem. Our Sugar Angels have been baking cakes for our Super Siblings since Day 1. 

We serve siblings of qualified medical children, including siblings of qualified medical children who have earned their wings within the past two years. Sibling applications must be accompanied by a copy of the child’s birth certificate or copy of an insurance card with the child’s and parent’s name. Alternative documents might include medical records, school records, and religious records (such as a certificate of baptism issued by a church) showing the names of the mother or father and the child. 

Each sibling is allowed one Dream Cake and one Fun Cake through our program. 

What Our Families Say

Super Siblings Renee and Caroline made magical memories when they received birthday cakes from Icing Smiles Sugar Angels.

When Emma received a cake from Icing Smiles, she smiled ear to ear. Her mom told us about the impact of the Icing Smiles cake on Emma and her family: “My daughter was beaming with pride. That moment was priceless. All of her friends were very impressed with her cake. The baker, Debby, was amazing! She put a special charm on my daughter’s cake so she could have a memento to keep. I was moved to tears. You can feel the love and hard work she put into that cake to make a little girl’s wish come true. Thank you, Icing Smiles, for acknowledging these siblings and all their sacrifices and to all involved. We are truly blessed to have received such a special gift.”

After Sugar Angel Anna King Chatterton made a cake for the sibling of a sick child, she received a sweet note from the family: “Thank you so much for the beautiful cake for our daughter’s birthday. I am so thankful that there are organizations like Icing Smiles who care for siblings like Jane who have endured more than most! We can’t thank you enough for this precious gift.”

Another mom shared with us the impact receiving an Icing Smiles cake had on her son Damian: “Damian is a sibling who has definitely given up on his fair share of things in life. We were so excited to be able to give him something so, so special. Our baker took so much time and effort into making this absolutely perfect for him. Thank you so much for allowing my son to experience such an incredible act of kindness! He felt so loved and special today. Thank you again from a mom who can never give this sibling all he deserves in life.”

What Our Sugar Angels Say

Sugar Angel Luasha Han made a cake for Super Sibling Damian, and Sugar Angel Joni Adkins recently delivered a Squishmallows cake to Super Sibling Norma Jean.

So often an Icing Smiles cake has an impact not only on the family but also on the Sugar Angel who created it.  

Sugar Angel Luasha Han shares what it was like for her to make the cake for Super Sibling Damian: “Out of more than 200 cakes I have made, this one turned out to be the most special cake I have ever created. It was made as a donation to a very special boy who had never had a birthday party before because of many reasons. The smile I have created on his face is the most precious thing I could ever get in return for my work! I will always remember this wonderful moment and keep creating more smiles for kids who are fighting every day.”

Sugar Angel Joni Adkins recently delivered a Squishmallows cake to Super Sibling Norma Jean and shared her experiences with us: “I delivered the cake, and Miss Norma Jean oohed and aahed over it — making me very happy.  As we were getting a photo of me, Norma Jean, and her cake, a song came on the radio, and she squealed: ‘The song!’ I don’t know what song it was, but I was told that this song was very significant to the whole family. Her mom teared up and turned up the song. She got a picture frame from her living room, brought it to me, and began to tell me about how Norma Jean was the younger sister of Chika but was the one to take care of her respiratory needs, medications, etc. Chika passed away 10 months ago. I was touched. I told Norma Jean how proud and honored I was to meet such a strong, beautiful, and vibrant woman and got a hug from her mom as I rushed out of the house trying not to fall into a blubbering mush of emotion in front of this family that has experienced so much!”

Sugar Angel Mycah Jones made her first Icing Smiles cake for Super Sibling Ezekiel who was celebrating his first birthday party not in his brother’s hospital room. “Talk about an honor being able to provide that for him,” she says. 

Our Sugar Angels have made many Dream Cakes and Fun Cakes over the years for Super Siblings. Many of their stories are featured on our blog.

Apply for a Cake

We believe that something as simple as a cake can have a huge impact. Each cake we serve is more than just a cake — these baked treats are a chance to smile, celebrate, feel normal, and temporarily escape from worry.

If you know a Super Sibling who would like a chance to make a magical memory, request a cake today.